A Year of Unimaginable Grief
Grief has a way of shattering even the most carefully built lives. For Lily, a sales professional from Spain, the year 2022 brought two devastating pregnancy losses, both caused by a rare genetic disorder. These experiences left her carrying not only profound sadness but also the weight of guilt that so many mothers feel in silence. Searching for a way to process her pain and find peace, Lily turned to Eleusinia and the healing potential of psilocybin.
Choosing Psilocybin for Healing
In her interview on the Eleusinia Podcast, Lily opened her heart about what led her to seek psychedelic therapy. She described how the repeated trauma of her losses, especially the forced medical interventions during COVID, left her broken. Western medicine had offered antidepressants, but Lily longed for something deeper, something that could reach the roots of her pain. “I started to look into psychedelics as a way to trick the mind in a way, to reset the mind,” she explained. “I found that psilocybin was definitely the experience that I wanted to go through.”
Finding Support at Eleusinia
From the moment Lily connected with Eleusinia, she felt supported. The science-based, compassionate approach reassured her that she was in good hands. During her retreat, she encountered moments of beauty and release. In her psilocybin ceremony, she found her “happy place” under a tree with yellow flowers, where she first felt the medicine take hold. A nearby palm tree then revealed itself in a vision, radiating life and strength. “I could literally see life coming out of that palm tree. It was the first connection I had with a natural entity beyond its plain aspect. I bowed to it and told it, please teach me what you are here to teach me.”
Later, guided by her facilitator Josefina, Lily was able to release deep feelings of guilt around her miscarriages. “She convinced me that none of this was my fault, that none of what happened means that there’s anything wrong with me. It was so beautiful, and I was crying, but it was not re-traumatizing. It was pure release.”
A Transformative DMT Experience
Her DMT experience brought an even deeper revelation. Lily described entering a vision of a mother’s womb, a place she called heaven, where she realized her babies had never suffered. “Everything painful was in the exterior, not in the interior. I came to the realization that there’s nothing wrong inside me. It’s fine. Now I can love myself.” For Lily, this moment was a turning point in her grief, offering her a lifelong image of peace to return to whenever she needs it.
A Message to Other Mothers
Today, Lily continues to carry her story with strength and openness. She encourages other women to listen to themselves and seek the support that feels true to their healing. “Don’t trust your doctor by default. Trust whoever is listening to you. That person can be yourself.”
Her story is a testament to the profound ways psilocybin can support those navigating grief and loss. At Eleusinia, guests are never interviewed on-site. Episodes are recorded weeks or months after retreats, and pseudonyms are often used to protect privacy. Each interview is audio-only, allowing listeners to focus fully on the voices and experiences of guests like Lily.
Listen to Lily’s Story
To hear Lily’s full story and her moving reflections on grief, healing, and hope, listen to this episode of the Eleusinia Podcast.
