Carried Across the Waters
When Margi closed her eyes during her DMT session at Eleusinia, she felt herself gently swaying on a boat. Held on either side by guides, Jessica and Josefina, the experience was soft and reassuring, like being carried safely across unknown waters. For a woman who had spent decades weighed down by depression, trauma, and the exhausting role of caregiving, this moment of surrender was a profound reminder: she did not have to do this alone.
A Lifetime of Searching
Margi is 65 years old. She came to Eleusinia after a lifetime of searching for relief—years of SSRIs, therapy, and attempts to outrun the shadows of trauma. Her husband’s battle with Alzheimer’s had only deepened her sense of urgency to find healing, not only for herself, but for her family. Yet even as research into psychedelics grew, she feared she was already “too late.” She read Michael Pollan, she watched PBS specials, and she followed the clinical trials. But when she saw mostly younger people participating, her anger and grief sharpened. What about those like her, who had carried pain for so long?
That question eventually led her to Eleusinia.
The Macrodose: A Wave of Grief
Her macrodose psilocybin journey began with a startling moment: aggressive flashes of red and orange behind her eyes and a voice saying, “You are loved.” Overwhelmed, she pushed it away, and what followed was wave after wave of grief. She wept until she thought she could not cry anymore. “It was everything I was afraid it was going to be,” she admitted, sitting in a hammock as she processed the experience. “It’s not profound. I just feel worse than when I got here.”
But the team encouraged her to trust the process. And in the days that followed, something shifted.
The Breakthrough: I Am Enough
During her minidose, sitting quietly with the mountain moving and breathing before her eyes, a new truth arose from within: “I am enough.” Not words from outside, not imagined or whispered by the medicine, but her own voice rising strong and clear. For the first time in decades, she felt lighter, freer, and deeply glad to be alive.
Speaking the Unspeakable
What made the difference? For Margi, it was more than the medicine. In her session with Josefina, she finally spoke aloud the story of her trauma—something no therapist or family member had ever asked her to do. In naming it, she released a weight she had carried since adolescence. “It’s not like the event didn’t happen,” she reflected, “but the baggage I’ve been dragging since I was 13 was just gone.”
A Message of Hope
Her story is not one of quick fixes or easy resolutions. But it is proof that healing is possible at any age. Even after decades of despair, Margi discovered new ways of seeing herself, her relationships, and her future. “I think I’m finally able to say, no, I’m enough. That’s who I am. And we’ll see where we go from here.”
Margi’s journey reminds us that psychedelic healing has no expiration date. It is never too late to release old pain, to rediscover joy, and to step into life with new courage.
Listen to the Full Episode
You can hear Margi share her full story on the Eleusinia Podcast. Out of respect for privacy, many guests choose pseudonyms, interviews take place weeks or months after their retreat, and no one is ever interviewed on location. The podcast is audio-only, giving space for real voices and real experiences to guide the conversation.
Listen to the full episode and witness Margi’s journey in her own words.
