Facing the Limits of Recovery
Matty is a builder from California, seven years sober, and known for his unfiltered humor and raw honesty. His story on the Eleusinia Podcast is a testament to courage, vulnerability, and the unexpected paths that recovery can take.
For years, Matty did everything that was prescribed for a person in long-term recovery: meetings, therapy, exercise, medication, and community support. And still, he found himself struggling with depression and a sense of being stuck. The idea of turning to psychedelics terrified him. Sobriety was the foundation of his life, his work, and his relationships. “I don’t have a job without being sober. I don’t have a partner without being sober. I don’t have shit. I’m a junkie,” he shared bluntly.
Wrestling With the Decision
Conversations within his recovery community planted a seed. Friends were finding breakthroughs in places that therapy and antidepressants could not reach. Matty wrestled with the idea for months, sometimes convinced it was impossible, other times feeling pulled toward it. Finally, with the guidance of a trusted therapist, he made the leap and booked his stay at Eleusinia.
Humor Amid the Fear
His journey to Mexico was filled with fear, doubt, and plenty of comic relief. He recalls TSA anxiety being broken when a security officer flirted with him in the most unexpected way. “She was missing teeth and everything, and it was perfect. It broke the anxiety,” Matty laughed. But the closer he got to the retreat, the more the terror set in. “It was panic from day one until peak macrodose,” he admitted.
The Psilocybin Experience
At Eleusinia, Matty’s first psilocybin session took him to the edge of fear, nausea, and uncertainty before opening into warmth, safety, and a flood of emotional release. Guided by loving presences and supported by the Eleusinia team, he experienced what he described as “being punched in the face with therapy for 10 years.” He cried, he laughed, he felt emotions he had been holding back for decades. The experience shook his identity and gave him new hope for how to rebuild himself with intention.
Raw Truths and Breakthroughs
His humor threads through the rawness of his retelling. “Turns out if you eat five grams of mushrooms with a bunch of strangers, that breaks the ice,” he quipped. Yet behind the jokes is a story of profound bravery. Matty confronted not only his depression, but also his fear of betraying sobriety. In doing so, he discovered compassion for himself and others, even in the face of major life transitions.
Why This Story Matters
This episode is a moving and gritty look at psilocybin for addiction recovery. Matty does not sugarcoat the terror or the difficulty, but he also does not hold back the beauty and the breakthroughs. His story shows the deeply human side of what happens when someone in recovery takes a leap into the unknown.
Listen to the Full Episode
The Eleusinia Podcast is audio-only. Out of respect for privacy, guests often use pseudonyms, and interviews are recorded weeks or months after their retreats, never on location. To hear Matty’s full story, listen to the episode now and step into the raw, hilarious, and heartfelt world of one man’s journey toward healing.
