Taking the Leap as a Solo Traveler
Traveling alone can be an act of courage. For Monica, an African American woman and single mom from Houston, choosing to come to Eleusinia as a solo traveler was not only about distance, it was about taking a grand gesture for herself. She carried with her the weight of cultural stigma, years of anxiety, and the quiet but persistent longing to rediscover her own worth.
“I needed a grand gesture,” Monica explains in her interview. “I couldn’t keep living on the same track.”
Searching for More Than Relief
Like many guests, Monica had tried medication and therapy, but still found herself caught between anxiety and emptiness. Psychedelics had given her glimpses of peace, but she felt called to go deeper, to find clarity and tools for lasting change. She made the brave choice to visit Eleusinia on her own, knowing that many in her community might not understand.
From the moment she arrived, she felt a warmth and care that surprised her. The welcome was personal and full of small comforts: Mexican hot chocolate, tamales, and the kindness of strangers who quickly became companions. For Monica, who often struggled with loneliness, the environment felt like a space of belonging.
Meeting Fear and Finding Release
Her psilocybin journey was not easy. At first, fear and anxiety surged, and she found herself craving comfort. A nurturing presence helped her release old pain tied to her relationship with her mother, while another encounter revealed how she often clung too tightly in relationships. Through tears, breathwork, and the support of the retreat team, Monica learned to let go, to trust herself, and to reorganize the voices inside her mind.
The Breakthrough of Bubbles
One of the most vivid moments came when she found herself laughing at something simple: bubbles. Watching her guide delight in blowing them, Monica and her roommate cracked up together. It was a revelation—joy didn’t have to come from outside sources or substances. Joy could be simple, light, and immediate, like bubbles floating in the air.
Conversations With Herself
Later, Monica described meeting “all five Monicas”—the scared one, the judgy one, the caring motherly one, the ideal self, and the voice of deep truth. For the first time, she was able to see them not as enemies but as parts of herself that could coexist. She chose to let her most loving and confident self take the lead.
Integrating New Perspectives
Her integration after the retreat has been just as profound. Josephina’s words shifted her perspective on loneliness: instead of saying she was alone, Monica now thinks of it as spending time with herself. She has begun writing poetry, journaling, practicing breathwork, and even enjoying social moments without needing alcohol. Floating down a river with friends, she chose to stay sober, realizing she no longer needed anything external to enhance her happiness.
“I found my formula,” she says. “This didn’t change my life, but it gave me every tool I need to change it myself.”
A Story of Resilience
Monica’s story is one of resilience, identity, and the courage to step into the unknown as a solo traveler. Her journey is a reminder that healing can begin with a single brave decision, and that sometimes joy is as simple as watching bubbles rise into the sky.
The Eleusinia Podcast is where you can hear guests like Monica share their real retreat experiences. For privacy, pseudonyms are often used. All interviews are conducted weeks or months after guests return home, never on location, and the podcast is audio only. Listen to Monica’s full story and many others to discover how psilocybin and DMT retreats have touched lives in unique and transformative ways.
