Finding Sobriety in AA
When Edith walked into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous as a teenager, she was a wounded 17-year-old searching for relief from a chaotic childhood and her own struggles with drugs and alcohol. She found community and support in AA, but she also encountered the dogmatic side of the program: the insistence on faith, the silencing of newcomers, the discouragement from seeking help beyond the “approved” literature. As a nurse and a seeker of healing, Edith began to feel the limits of this framework.
Choosing Psychedelics After 30 Years of Sobriety
More than three decades sober, Edith chose to explore psychedelics. Her decision was not about abandoning her recovery, but about expanding it. At Eleusinia, she discovered what the 12-step model had never offered her: profound emotional release, a deep connection to the earth, and an experience of awe and peace that reached beyond words.
“I had this huge emotional release surrounding my mother’s death and my relationship with my sister,” Edith recalls. “Although it was deeply sad, it was positive because I allowed these feelings to move through me without judgment. Afterward, I shifted into laughter and joy that filled my whole body.”
Beyond the Limits of AA
Her story highlights something important: psychedelics are not about replacing recovery but about addressing the parts of trauma and healing that AA and similar programs often leave untouched. Edith explains, “AA gave me community, but it also discouraged me from looking outside the rooms for help. I needed more than that. I needed healing at the root of my depression and anxiety.”
A Nurse’s Perspective on Healing
As a nurse, Edith has seen the healthcare system shift toward profit over care. Her own psilocybin journey reminded her that true healing is not about ticking boxes or repeating dogma, but about compassion and connection. She describes lying on the grass during her retreat, feeling the earth’s love wash over her: “I just let this healing move through me. It felt cleansing, like the earth itself was holding me.”
Reconciling Sobriety with Psychedelics
For Edith, psychedelics offered a way to reconcile her sobriety with deeper healing. She remains abstinent from alcohol, but she is open about her use of psilocybin and DMT. She sees them not as relapses but as powerful medicines that have transformed her life. In her words: “I will continue to follow a path of utilizing these medicines in a way that works for me. The importance of bringing this work forward is greater than needing acceptance from people in AA.”
The Eleusinia Podcast
This conversation with Edith is part of Eleusinia’s podcast series, where guests reflect on their retreat experiences weeks or months afterward. Out of respect for privacy, pseudonyms are often used, and interviews are never conducted on location. The podcast is audio-only, but it brings these deeply personal journeys to life.
Why Edith’s Story Matters
Edith’s courage in sharing her truth offers hope to others who may feel torn between the structure of AA and the pull toward other avenues of healing. Her story reminds us that recovery is not one-size-fits-all, and that sometimes the most profound peace comes from stepping beyond the boundaries we once thought unshakable.
Listen to the full episode with Edith to hear her story in her own words, and discover how psychedelic alternatives to 12 step programs are opening new paths of healing for people in recovery.
